Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Couch. On fire.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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