I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
