Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
