There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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