he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
