So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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