so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
