We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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