Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I cockslap morals
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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