lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
