I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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