I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
