Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
