actually, I'm a sock model
I just threw up on my dentist
there's paper in my vomit.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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