): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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