whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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