2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
