tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
