is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
