I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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