Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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