Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
