You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
