If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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