My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That accounts for only three of the penises
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
