Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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(336): View more from North Carolina

pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck

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(502): View more from Kentucky

new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

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(817): View more from Texas

Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments

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(587): View more from Alberta

I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!

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