lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i think im in europe. pls send help
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
