Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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