We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
