I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
