did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugly people sure do ruin things
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize