Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
