Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I look better un-naked...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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