that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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