You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
pray to the hookup gods
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
