considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
