I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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