scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
