This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
