Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
