Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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