you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
