i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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