what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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