just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
