Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
