You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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