dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
