he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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