she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
