Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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