hell yes lets make some ravioli
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
