Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
