Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm like, not good at living.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
