Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
