I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
