I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize