Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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