she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
