my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dicks are not precious.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
