eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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