i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
