hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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