she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
